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General Information:
See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/writing-poetry and rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-parallelism
the word of Yahweh came to Jeremiah a second time, while he was ... guard, saying,
The idiom "the word of Yahweh came to" is used to introduce a special message from God. See how you translated a similar phrase in Jeremiah 1:13. Alternate translation: "Yahweh gave a message to Jeremiah a second time, while Jeremiah was ... guard. He said," or "While Jeremiah was ... guard, Yahweh spoke this second message to Jeremiah:" (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-idiom)
came to Jeremiah
It is not clear why Jeremiah is referring to himself by name here. There is no need to translate using first person. (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-123person)
he was still shut within
"he was still a prisoner in"
the courtyard of the guard
This was an open area attached to the king's palace that was surrounded by buildings and in which they kept prisoners. See how you translated this in Jeremiah 32:2.