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the word of Yahweh came

This idiom is used to introduce a special message from God. See how you translated this in Haggai 1:1. Alternate translation: "Yahweh gave a message" or "Yawheh spoke this message" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-idiom)

Haggai

This is the name of a man. See how you translated this in Haggai 1:1. (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/translate-names)

on the twenty-fourth day of the month

You may need to make explicit which month is spoken of. Alternate translation: "on the twenty-fourth day of the ninth month" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/translate-hebrewmonths and rc://en/ta/man/translate/translate-ordinal and rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-ellipsis)