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The word of Yahweh came to Jeremiah, saying, "Look

This idiom is used to introduce a special message from God. See how you translated a similar phrase in Jeremiah 1:4. Alternate translation: "Yahweh gave a message to Jeremiah. He said, 'Look" or "Yahweh spoke this message to Jeremiah: 'Look" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-idiom)

came to Jeremiah

It is not clear why Jeremiah is referring to himself by name here. You may translate using first person, as the UDB does. (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-123person)