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Far be it from you!

This is an idiom that means it will never happen to you. AT: "This will never happen to you!" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-idiom)

would I not tell you?

This rhetorical question can be translated as a statement. AT: "I would certainly tell you." (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-rquestion)