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The word of Yahweh came to Jeremiah, saying,
This idiom is used to introduce a special message from God. See how you translated a similar phrase in Jeremiah 1:4. AT: "Yahweh gave a message to Jeremiah. He said," or "Yahweh spoke this message to Jeremiah:" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-idiom)
to Jeremiah
It is not clear why Jeremiah is referring to himself by name here. There is no need to translate using first person. (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-123person)
my covenant with day and night ... my covenant with David my servant
No one can change day and night, and no one can change God's covenant with David.
to sit on his throne
The throne is a metonym for the king who sits on the throne. AT: "to rule the kingdom I have given to him" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-metonymy)
As the hosts of heaven cannot be counted, and as the sand of the seashores cannot be measured, so I will increase the descendants of David my servant and the Levites who serve before me
No one can count the stars in the sky or the sand on the seashore, and no one will be able to count the descendants of David and Levi who serve Yahweh. (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-simile)