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Daughter of my people
Jeremiah shows Yahweh's love for his people by speaking to them as a daughter. See how you translated a similar phrase in Jeremiah 4:11. Alternate translation: "My people, you who are like a daughter to me" or "My dear people" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-metaphor)
put on sackcloth and roll in ashes
People do these things to show that they are extremely sad. Alternate translation: "Show how sad you are by wearing sackcloth and rolling in ashes" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/translate-symaction)
mourn with painful sobs as for an only son
Jeremiah compares the people's great sadness to the sadness that a mother feels if her only son dies. Alternate translation: "mourn with painful sobs as you would if your only son died" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-simile)
for the destroyer will suddenly come upon us
"because the enemy army will suddenly come to attack us"