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The word of Yahweh came to Jeremiah, saying,

This idiom is used to introduce a special message from God. See how you translated a similar phrase in Jeremiah 1:4. Alternate translation: "Yahweh gave a message to Jeremiah. He said," or "Yahweh spoke this message to Jeremiah:" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-idiom)

to Jeremiah

It is not clear why Jeremiah is referring to himself by name here. There is no need to translate using first person. (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-123person)